Published in the May 30 – June 12, 2018 issue of Gilroy Life
The dating world can be pretty rough. Perhaps it’s because I’m in my 40s that I find it so difficult these days. During my college years, it was fun to go out and meet new people, staying out until the wee hours of the morning playing billiards. I enjoyed going out, socializing, and flirting with the young men in my college town alongside my single girlfriends.
It’s not as easy as it used to be, that’s for sure. I’m not as carefree as I was back in the day. Life experience has a way of reining that in and revealing responsibilities that we sometimes don’t consider when we’re young.
But that doesn’t stop me from giving dating a shot. In fact, I recently joined an online dating site in hopes of meeting someone compatible. I first ventured into online dating several years ago and had varying degrees of luck — and some interesting dates — before meeting a man with whom I spent three good years, until we realized we were headed in different directions.
Though I haven’t yet met anyone, stepping back into the world of online dating has given me flashbacks of some real doozies from my past — and has me crossing my fingers.
I once met a man online at a small restaurant in Los Gatos, where things seemed to be going well. When the bill arrived, he said he forgot his wallet and asked if I’d pay. Though I was a little surprised, I almost always offer to split the check, so I took care of it.
When he called me a couple days later and asked if I’d like to go to dinner again, I thought perhaps he felt a little bad. Once again, we met at a restaurant for dinner and drinks. When the check came at the end of the evening, it sat on the table for some time before he spoke up. He said he had his wallet this time, but just didn’t have the money to pay for it. Again, I paid.
Fool me once …
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a fairly independent woman with a great job, a home, and have no problem picking up the check sometimes. But I do appreciate a man who puts in a little effort.
There was another instance where I was on a second or third date with a man I’d met online. He lived in San Jose, and I drove to his apartment because he wanted me to meet his dog. We went out — he drove — and when we returned to his complex about midnight, we called it a night. We said goodnight and instead of him walking me to my car, he headed off toward his apartment and I went in the opposite direction, walking alone the three blocks back to my where my vehicle was parked on the street.
I may be somewhat independent, but I do appreciate a gentleman who makes me feel safe, especially in an unfamiliar neighborhood in the middle of the night.
Those are just two of many stories — both good and bad — that make up my dating portfolio, and I’m sure more will be added before that book is closed and sealed for good.
Because though I’m little older — well past my 20s — and a little more set in my ways, I’m always hopeful that there’s someone somewhere.
Wish me luck.
Andrea “Andi” Joseph worked in newspapers for 18 years before transitioning to her current career as a website content writer and marketer. She lives south of Gilroy with her two dogs, Bailey and Cricket. Email her at email@example.com.
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