‘Stinkin Red Roses enjoy camaraderie, helping community
Local group now has about 50 members who meet regularly
By Kelly Barbazette
Kelly Barbazette
Red hats and purple dresses adorn a jewel-box bedroom in Linda Tarvin’s Morgan Hill home, serving as a vibrant reminder of her 20 years of friendship and fun with the Stinkin’ Red Roses, a local chapter of the Red Hat Society.
“This is my first one,” Tarvin, 80, said, tenderly removing a hat from its hook on the wall. “I got it at the Goodwill store. I spray-painted it red and glued on the purple flowers.”
A worldwide society whose members share a zest for life, the Red Hat Society was started by Sue Ellen Cooper in Orange County on a lark when she gave her friend a red hat on her 50th birthday.
Photo by Kelly Barbazette
The red hat is a nod to Jenny Joseph’s poem, “Warning,” which begins, “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.” Cooper repeated the gift to friends a few more times before officially creating the Red Hat Society.
The membership group “encourages women in their quest to get the most out of life.” As of 2020, it has more than 35,000 members internationally.
Jan Buessing, 75, is a founding member of the Stinkin’ Red Roses. She first heard about the group from her mother, a member of a Southern California chapter. Buessing and a few friends started the local chapter in 2003 and more women joined as word of mouth traveled. Donning red hats, about 25 members made their first official Red Hat Society outing in December 2003 to Mama Mia’s Restaurant in Gilroy.
“We were so nervous. But we strutted our way through the restaurant and afterward we were like, that was easy-peasy,” she said.
Today, the chapter is made up of about 50 women, ages 50 to 80-plus who live in Morgan Hill, Gilroy, and Hollister. One member who is older than 90 lives in Jackson. They come from all backgrounds, are married, single, widowed, and divorced, Buessing said.
Photo by Kelly Barbazette
“No one is too young and no one is too old,” she said.
Wearing their signature red hats, they gather for fun monthly outings. Women younger than 50 may join and they wear pink hats and lavender dresses. Members throw a “red-uation” for the member after their 50th birthday.
“We all do a lot of other stuff,” Tarvin said. “I’m a busy person, yet this is really a niche in my life that is worthwhile to me because I’ve made a lot of good friends.”
Tarvin said she first heard about the group in 2002 a few months after it began and, on a whim, went to their Christmas party.
“I found a red hat to wear and a purple dress. I just loved it,” she said.
She recalled she was asked to bring an item smaller than a bread box that represented a special memory. She discovered she already knew a few of the members, and the group sat in a circle sharing their treasured items.
Photo by Kelly Barbazette
“It’s a really nice group,” Tarvin said. “I could tell that they liked each other and had fun.”
Members sign up to host monthly events and outings from lunches and soup nights to seeing local plays and game nights. Last fall, Tarvin signed up for a pizza night at Little Uvas Vineyards in San Martin.
“We had a great party there,” she said.
November was marked with an ornament exchange party. In January, they throw a big birthday party for all their members.
They have collected school supplies and clothing for St. Joseph’s Family Center in Gilroy. And each summer, the group takes a trip to Pine Mountain Lake to stay at a member’s cabin for a few days of relaxation. They even took a trip to San Francisco in 2014 for the Red Hat Society’s International Convention.
Photo by Kelly Barbazette
“It was fun just seeing people in the lobby and seeing people go by,” Tarvin said. “You were never bored. You could strike up a conversation with anybody.”
“We all brought garlic bulbs and we passed them out,” Buessing recalled.
Buessing said she’s looking forward to a cruise to the British Isles this spring with her fellow members when they will meet with other Red Hat Society members in London.
Throughout the year, members gather in smaller interest groups to play Bunco, discuss a book, or play Texas Hold ‘Em.
Some members are still working while others are retired and come from a wide range of professional backgrounds, including a court reporter, nurses, teachers, government workers, and people who have owned small businesses. One member hails from China while another spends half the year in Australia.
Tarvin, who is retired from her printing business, Hot Spot Printing that she co-owned with her husband for 22 years, is also a member of the Morgan Hill branch of the American Association of University Women and Women In Touch. She also enjoys gardening and playing the ukulele. She has given ukulele lessons to a fellow member’s daughter and grandchildren.
For Tarvin, the most rewarding part of being in the group is, “connections with other members and the fun that you have at meetings.”
“We’re still going strong because of the friendships,” she said.
Buessing said she can’t begin to recall all the fun things they’ve done together.
“I think the most important thing for me, and I speak for everyone, is the friendships,” she said. “We enjoy each other. And we just click. These ladies are just so amazing.”
Kelly Barbazette is a freelance writer who has lived in Gilroy for more than 20 years.