Your Child’s Education … with Dr. Sheila Murphy

Strategies to support your child’s academic and emotional well-being

Congratulations families you have made it to November. However, is the school year playing out how you imagined? Is your child struggling to keep up with schoolwork, despite their best efforts? Did you and/or your student have high hopes for this school year and they seem to be fading with the warmth of the summer sunshine? Are the same patterns and bad habits from years gone by sneaking back in? Trust me, you are not alone.

As the school year progresses, many parents face the familiar challenge of their child’s academic struggles. Whether it’s difficulty with attention, organization, or time management, these executive functioning challenges can significantly impact a child’s academic and emotional well-being. By understanding these challenges and implementing effective strategies, we can help our children succeed.

As a parent of three sons who struggled with learning challenges, I witnessed firsthand the emotional toll that learning difficulties can take on both children and families. The schools they attended, focused primarily on academic progress and standardized test scores, often left them feeling disconnected and defeated.

I knew my sons learned differently and struggled consistently, but my greatest concern was that they weren’t developing the essential life skills to succeed. Although they were well behaved, their teachers, frustrated by the challenges of teaching them, often grew impatient. One by one, my sons lost confidence in themselves and began to exhibit signs of struggle in their social-emotional skills and overall mental health.

Typically, signs of these struggles would emerge around October or November. I recall the frequent morning illnesses that prevented them from going to school and the frustrating homework battles that ensued in the evenings. Homework assignments were often completed but not turned in, last-minute projects became a common occurrence, and test anxiety, along with a constant stream of emails and meetings with teachers, added to the stress.

Alongside their learning difficulties, my sons also exhibited significant gaps in their executive functioning skills. I learned that these skills, such as flexible thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self-control, working memory, time management, and organization, are crucial for navigating the complexities of life. They help us focus our attention, prioritize tasks, set and achieve goals, and control our impulses.

When students struggle with attention, working memory, organization, or other executive functioning skills, they often require alternative approaches to learning. Interestingly, while 20-45 percent of students may face these challenges, only 13 percent of teachers feel adequately trained to support them. This lack of training likely contributed to the frustration my sons’ teachers experienced. However, I also discovered that executive functioning skills can be taught.

This is why it’s crucial to establish strong partnerships with your child’s teachers throughout their academic journey. While this becomes more challenging as they progress to middle and high school, it’s essential to remember that you are both their advocate and their parent.

To foster a strong partnership with your child’s teachers and support their academic and emotional well-being, consider the following strategies:

• Early Engagement: Schedule meetings with all of your child’s teachers early in the school year to discuss their strengths, weaknesses, and learning style. This proactive approach will help you identify potential challenges early on.
• Regular Monitoring: Check your child’s grades and assignments regularly. When you notice a decline in performance or missing assignments, take immediate action to address the issue.
• Targeted Support: If your child is struggling with specific executive functioning skills, consider providing explicit instruction or seeking the help of a qualified coach.
• Empathy and Understanding: Avoid making assumptions about your child’s motivation or effort. Remember, executive dysfunction can mask their true intentions. Approach them with empathy and understanding, and offer support and encouragement.

While the journey felt like an uphill battle throughout their school years, I am proud to say my sons have grown into successful young men. They are passionate about their careers, emotionally resilient, and capable of building strong, healthy relationships. What’s truly remarkable is their transformation from insecure students who doubted their abilities to confident adults who now run their own businesses, lead teams, and demonstrate exceptional empathy.

Although the journey may be challenging, remember that with patience, persistence, and the right support, children with learning challenges can overcome obstacles and achieve their full potential. By fostering a positive learning environment and providing the necessary tools and strategies, we can empower our children to become confident, successful learners, and contributing members of society.

Dr. Sheila Murphy is an educational consultant and academic coach focused on executive functioning, social emotional learning and special education inclusion. She went into education specifically to advocate and address gaps in the system that failed her sons. With a Doctorate Degree in Educational Leadership a Master’s Degree in Education, a Master’s Degree in Supervision and Administration and as a Certified Life Coach, Murphy has focused her life’s work on giving to those who are most vulnerable in this world. Contact her at (408) 891-9465 or at [email protected].